The other side of Bangkok (gasp!!!)

Bloody hell - what a day... :)

Flew in from Delhi where I'd spent a few lazy days with my Indian friend who luckily had a bit of free time seeing most Indians are on holiday at this time of year. Only did the one past life regression on her in the end, but that was cool. She also introduced me to a photographer friend of hers and he spent quite a few hours telling me about the spiritual path he is following and what his guru is like. He also took me along when he dropped off some lenses to a friend of his gurus, who just happens to be insanely rich and has a large estate just outside the Gurgaon business district where I was staying. Talk about amazing!!! This was the most spectacular home I'd seen in all my time in India... manicured gardens with peacocks roaming around (very auspicious animals), a long beautiful drive, a huge house full of marble and all manner of lovely things. The owner - unexpectedly - turned out to be a really nice, even self-effacing, retired businessman. It was like stepping into another world... I asked the photographer how much this place was worth when we were leaving and he said not to even bother with that question - he said with just one of the paintings on the wall, he could retire for the rest of his life!!! This millionaire has a huge yacht and sails to exotic places and has just bought some place in Monte Carlo too if I remember. Well, he must be special if he isn't one of the zillion corrupt business people here.

The photographer spent ages telling me about all the corruption in India, which is the reason he quit law (which is what he graduated in) and turned to freelance photography. I won't bore you about it, but he told me how all the judges, politicians, policemen, public officials and pretty much everyone can be bought and it's not just occasional, it's totally unavoidable. He was hilarious - hugely passionate about all the crazy things in India, and he was the first Indian I met who swore like a Kiwi, though I think it might be because he's spent a bit of time overseas. (Most Indian people avoid the F word for the most part, but he is just so full of passion about everything.) And he was good enough to teach me the Kriya Yoga breathing technique - another really unexpected bonus.

Ok - so I survived Delhi with a few mild stomach upsets, but nothing too bad. In fact one surprising thing was colour therapy which I would have totally pooh-poohed in the past but when I got the runs again (just mildly), my Indian friend coloured my middle fingertips with a yellow marker and while I was convinced it would do absolutely nothing at all, I noticed from then on I became quite blocked up - first time in the whole trip!!! But enough romantic stories about my bowels.... :)

Anyway - today has just been unbelievable. I flew in overnight to Bangkok from Delhi and suddenly realised I have two and a half days here - what the hell was I going to do with all this time??? I decided to go to a reasonably famous tailor who makes shirts (supposedly Jonathan Hunt and lots of CIA staff get shirts made there) and made my way nervously over. I was convinced that the place would be super busy from the great article I'd read on the net, but luckily when I got there it was empty because it's actually the Buddhist Wesak festival today and most people are on holiday. The friendly Sikh tailor, Victor, told me that on other days they might have up to 20 customers waiting in there. (Ok, maybe exaggerating a little but they are supposed to be really well known.) Was a lovely experience and we ended up chatting about my temple tour and he was telling me about Sikhism and how I should look into that - plus visit the Golden Temple at Amritsar of course! He said you walk into the place and because of the spiritual energy you immediately get goose bumps. I was getting goose bumps just listening to him and imagining it! A really warm and friendly guy and he's a half owner of the store. So glad I went there, though nervous about how the shirts will turn out... Decided not to get a suit - just too much money and hassle and my bags are totally full to overflowing with Ganesh statues, books, CDs, 8-foot marijuana plants, Indian servants, etc etc. Luckily Thai air state that there's a max weight of 20kg but allow up to 25 or 26 kg without charging excess baggage - luckily m y Indian friend and her husband knew these things as I was really panicking!

Ok - so the tailor was really pleasant. But when I wandered outside and thought "What on earth am I going to have for lunch?" I kinda dithered and started looking at the street stalls. as it happens, I got chatting to an American buying a Harley T-shirt and then the day took a wild turn. Seems he's an American college lecturer in public policy who is flying through Thailand all the time. He told me that this area where the tailors are is also the centre of the notorious red-light district here - I couldn't believe it! He was good enough to recommend a place for lunch and I had a really nice tom yum soup and he started telling me how things work around here. Honestly this is the longest tour commentary I have ever received in my life!!!

We hung out for hours having a juice here and an ice coffee there and he pointed out all the infamous bars, how the Girl Friend Experience (GFE) works, who all the punters are, what the costs are etc etc etc. I think we were chatting for about 6 hours if you can believe that! Honestly, I initially couldn't believe half the things he was saying - how most of the guys looking for sex here were either Aussies, "psychotic alcoholics" or both and said that most of them start drinking really early in the morning and are looking like extras from a George Romero zombie movie by mid afternoon! I thought he was exaggerating until I saw people staggering down the street - and no kidding, they were walking like zombies!!!! This is just such a totally bizarre world here!!!!! I can't tell you everything he said - I'd wear my fingers out - but he explained all the anomalies of Thai society, why it's so safe and there are no muggers (because of their belief in karma), why ladyboys are accepted and even have TV shows (because the monks earn a lot of money from them by doing spiritual forecasts or blessings) and how the monks are totally corrupt - mostly being smokers, gluttons (they are often overweight) and sex fiends!!! I was laughing my ass off at so many of the things he was saying - the guy should be a travel writer or have a wry travel show or something. He was trying to convince me to try some of the Thai girls myself and couldn't understand that I thought it would bring me bags of bad luck if I did. I was surprised he was so keen to hang out, but he said that finding a person who was easy-going, half-intelligent and not dead-drunk was quite hard in this part of town, so he was happy for the company. And I was a good audience for his musing about the madness of Thailand. Sounds so depressing though. He said that many of the Aussies are staying in really cheap rooms - US$10 a night with really basic amenities and only three snowy channels on the TV (these are the room highlights!!!), they turn up with two pairs of underwear, two pairs of socks and of the money they spend on the room, the girls and booze, the majority is on booze. So that's why the girls they were walking back to their rooms were not that great looking - they are doing everything on the super-cheap until their money runs out.

And if that's not depressing enough, there's a place called Pattaya two hours away which is party central for booze and sex - and some alcoholics go there, spend the whole time drunk and every now and then, someone will run out of money and because they've hit rock-bottom, they'll just jump out of their hotel window. He's trying to convince me to go out there as he says it's the wildest place, but it honestly sounds like hell to me.

Just to illustrate one point of his about the kinds of guys who hang out here, a portly guy with an accent stopped and chatted to me in a mix of German and English for a bit. He was nice and from Switzerland but totally drunk and seemed to be a bit of a tragic figure. Also Alex said that it's not uncommon to meet neo-Nazis covered in SS tattoos in Pattaya getting Nazi paintings done cheaply but expertly by the amazing artists there. You just bring a book and they quickly whip up an oil painting for an astoundingly low price. Alex said he saw a huge portrait of Hitler once which a customer had commissioned - and the painter was displaying it proudly there...

Ok - Alex said I should join him for a drink to see what the bars are like, but I don't want to be pressured. Seems all the punters are easy-going and I can't imagine many fights here. But weird that one of the bars in the rings of places Alex showed me is mainly patronised by American "security contractors" from Iraq on R & R or actual CIA staff. It's no wonder, as he tells me the US embassy here is almost two blocks long! Wow...

Anyway - enough madness. Nice to relax in the peace and quiet of this nice upstairs internet cafe and it is so cool to be back in Thailand where the streets are cleaner and people are really mild and for the most part much more friendly than Indians, though Indians seem infinitely deeper in their conversations. Alex said he's no racist, but in all his trips here he has just found it almost impossible to have a conversation with any depth with Thai people. He says they are lovely and warm, but seems to think that it's their lack of deep thought that keeps them from the worries and anxiety that afflicts the rest of the world. Not sure what to think but it is an interesting idea. I think the main reason I haven't had a deep conversation with a Thai person is that nobody speaks English that well!

Time to try to forget this area and its drunks and Thai girls and find some sanity somewhere else. Just such a juxtaposition - a lovely spiritual conversation with the tailor then this explanation of how the underworld works here.